Children of Divorce

"How can people do this to kids?"

This was my reaction when I learned about an arrangement between a couple who decided to divorce. The kids, aged 7 and 10 are to alternately live with their father and mother at a week each.

Kids are people. They are flesh and blood, not made of rubber like a basketball that u can bounce from one court to another. In between passing, the kids, never know what could hit them, or where and how they are going to land from mid air. It's just too unthinkable for me. It's bad enough that your parents separate. When homes break, either by divorce of by death, there is the risk of a dysfunctional family.

Such an arrangement, though seemingly a fair one for both parents, is cruel to the kids who have to be dribbled from one house to another. It is selfishness on the part of the parents who, wanting to have equal share of the children's time agree to such an arrangement that could result in displacement anxieties.

In displacement anxiety,there is a discontinuity of life's everyday routine. There is no sense of permanence, no root formations, no sense of belonging, no concept of abode.

Children who fall victims to such anxieties tend to be wary of relationships and may harbor doubts of continuity or permanence. The transient nature of their growing up make evey suggetsion of commitment suspect of sincerity.

As such, the law on custody for children of divorcees should be reviewed on the demerits of displacement anxiety.